Humorous quotes for team building

If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. -Will Kommen

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. -Dean Martin

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -Calvin Trillin

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. -Rita Rudner

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. -Wendy Liebman

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. -Joan Rivers

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. -Henny Youngman

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -Bob Thaves

He that falls in live with himself will have no rivals. -Ben Franklin

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays. -Joey Bishop

Read the book from Simple Truths : "Laughter is an Instant Vacation ", is 160 pages of pure, unadulterated...FUN. It has over 250 great quotes, and many funny photos that'll make you laugh out loud.

Laughter is one of the simple joys of life! Take a few minutes to enjoy the movie, Laughter is an Instant Vacation. You will laugh, chuckle and take a little stress out of your day.

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” Doug Larson

Click on this movie link for Laughter Is An Instant Vacation:

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